Everyone's life got screwed up while I was away
by SydnerisStephano
Summary: Allen come back to Echo Village after moving away for two years, and he finds that everyone he knew has changed. Rod is afraid of dogs, Dunhill is a blackmailing mayor, Yuri is obese, and Neil is a secretive otaku. And, is Allen getting stalked on farmville? Perhaps it is due to the new farmer in town, Kathryn. She is lazy, has a bad mouth, and a masochist. What the heck happened?
1. Chapter 1

Allen's POV

"Allen! Would you come here please?" My mother called after me. I didn't hesitate to stop studying and get to her. I'm an obedient child, it's one of my best qualities. Not that I have any bad qualities, naturally. I walked up the stairs, when my sister came barrelling down them. Her hair looked worse than ever. I was disgusted.

"Catherine, dear sister, learn how to take care of your hair for goodness sake. It looks like a mop!" I scolded, running my fingers vigorously through her hair. Catherine looked a bit ashamed, and immediately I regretted yelling at her. It wasn't her fault she didn't know how to take care of her, if anything it was mine. If I wanted her to look nice, then I would have to teach her how. I am a superb stylist, after all. Oh, I almost forgot about mom, I don't want to keep her waiting. I got to her room, and saw the problem immediately. Her hair looked 10 times worse than Catherine's. I gasped.

"Oh, mom! Mother! What could you have possible have done to get your hair like this? Did you get run over by a bus? Did a squirrel land in your hair? Oh, mother of- Mom, what happened?"

Mother looked horrified by my reaction.

"Is it really that bad? Oh dear….The only thing I did was wake up."

I didn't even talk. I only picked up her hand and led her to my make-shift salon. I pulled her down to the make-shift salon chair I had in front of the bathroom sink.

"Mom, not just any stylist can fix your hair. Only I, the best stylist in all of Brighthaven, the one and only Allen, can fix it!" I said dramatically as I ran a comb through her hair. Mom just laughed it off, as if I was joking. I wasn't. A lot of people say I'm arrogant or cocky, but in reality I'm just speaking the truth. I truly am the best stylist in all of Brighthaven. I lathered her hair with shampoo, the _best_ shampoo if I might add. Made from 100% organic materials. It cost me a fortune, but it was worth it. Anyway, after rinsing her hair, I put in the _100% natural_ conditioner. I broke a few laws to get that one. Next, I blow dried her hair, and put a few chemicals in it. Finally, I styled in a way that only I could. It was magnificent.

"Oh honey...you did a great job!" Mom exclaimed

"I know." I replied in satisfaction. I had a bit of arrogance inside of me, but I could back it up. Then I wasn't really arrogant, was I? A phone call interrupted me from admiring my work. I looked at the caller ID, noticing it was a bit familiar. It read Dunhill, Echo Village. Dunhil was the mayor of the town I used to live in called Echo Village. I ran a salon there. But after a while, the town became deserted and I couldn't make ends meet. I eventually moved back to Bright Haven with my mom and my sister, styling hair as a hobby. I'm currently back in college, majoring in chemistry instead of cosmicology. I hate it, but at least it'll bring me money. Styling hair won't. Anyway, I picked up the phone.

"Allen, is that you?" A scratchy voice said behind the receiver. Wow, is that Dunhill? He sounds...older than the last time I saw him. He was 60 when I saw him in Echo village, so he's 62 now. I guess he's aging badly.

"Yeah, Dunhill it's me." I replied patiently. I learned a while ago to always be patient with _elderly_ citizens.

"How did you know it was me?!"

"It's a little something called caller ID."

"Oh. Geez, all the new flashies and gizmos they add on phones these days."

I sighed.

"Dunhill, what did you call me for?"

"I wanted to ask you something. You see, a farmer just moved to Echo Village." Well, that was surprising. Echo Village was about as exciting as a rainy day at a theme park. No one had moved there in years. "She is amazing, she convinced _9_ people to come join the town. 10 if you include Rod coming back. Anyway, I know you moved away because of money problems, but considering the sudden population growth…"

"You want me open my salon back in town again" I finished for him

"Yes! Don't worry about rent, the farmer has built a house for you. So, what do you say?"

"To that, I say no. Sorry Dunhill, but just because the town has made a _small, small_ increase in population doesn't mean that it is suddenly a hub for making money. I can't survive on a hair stylist salary. I do want to come back, I mean I miss the town. I still talk to Rod everyday. But, I can't. The world is just cruel like that." I said, sullenly. Suddenly, something very unexpected happened. Dunhill gave an annoyed sigh over the phone.

"Allen, I tried doing the nice elderly citizen act. I thought it would work on you, given how soft you are. But now, I have to resort to my plan B. I really don't want to resort to this, but…" Dunhill said in a surprisingly young, deep voice. "I have your... _lists_. I know what-"

"Okay, okay! I'll move back! Just don't show anyone." I interrupted in a hushed whisper. No one could see my _lists._ No one.

"That's what I want to hear. Now, I'll expect you by Tuesday. If you aren't there by then, I am showing the town your... _lists._ " Dunhill hung up the phone. I was furious. Dunhill had seemed so...nice. Like a sweet mayor. Little that I knew he was a sociopathic blackmailer. Then again, who would have guessed?

…

Tuesday came around sooner rather than later, and I said goodbye to Catherine and my mom. Catherine acted like she didn't care, but I could see the tears in her eyes. She missed me the most when I left for Echo Village 7 years ago. My mom wasn't quite as sad as I thought she was. In fact, she seemed _happy._ I guess she wanted me to be a hair stylist too. I am pretty good at it if I don't say so myself. When I arrived at the town, Dunhill greeted me.

"Well, I'm glad you're on time. Here, I'll let you tour the new salon. It's quite different than the old one." He said, slyly. I gritted my teeth in reply. It's not like I got a choice. The salon was pretty nice. Two chairs in front of sinks, a whole shelf of top-of-the-line products, and it was decorated to my taste.

I have pretty good taste.

"This salon is pretty nice, naturally. I mean, you were expecting the best stylist Echo Village has ever seen." I said. Dunhill narrowed his eyes. It seemed as if he liked me about as much as I liked him.

"Let's go introduce you to the farmer I told you about on the phone."

We walked the long walk to the farm. When we arrived, I gasped. I mean, I'm no farmer, but I know for a fact that this isn't what a farm was supposed to look like. Weeds were all over the ground. The crops were planted in a gravel field, and there were only about 4 of them. No cows or sheep were grazing, and the barn looked abandoned. Overall, it sucked. A lot. When we walked into the house, I was a bit dumbstruck. A girl, probably about my age, was sleeping. That's right, _sleeping._ The last farmer we had here got up at 6 every day! It's 10 now! What was Dunhill talking about, I don't think this farmer is amazing at all. Well, maybe amazingly lazy! Dunhill's face morphed into the old, sweet mayor's face that I remember.

"Kathryn? I have someone you need to meet!" He said kindly. Kathryn was her name, same as my sister's.

It is a pretty sweet name.

After all, I picked it.

Anyway, the girl's cobalt eyes finally opened up, and she was looking right at me.

"Who the hell is he, Dunhill?" She asked rudely. What did I do to make her _curse_ at me right when we first met? I answered for Dunhill.

"I'm Allen, a top stylist. Who the hell are you?" The girl narrowed her eyes. _Good._ Now she would realise what happens when you make an enemy out of me.

"The name's Kathryn. Now get the hell out of my fucking house."

"Yeah, your right. I think'll go. By the way, you like you're having a bad hair day. Come by my shop sometime, will ya? It's the fourth house on main street."

"Can you get anymore egotistical?"

"Hell, yeah! This isn't even my worst."

"Get the fuck out of my house."

I slammed the door on it's hinges, feeling like I made a victory. Who knew making someone mad would feel good? Back on my way to the salon, I ran into a familiar face.

"Hey, Neil! Did you hear, I'm back in town!" I said, throwing my arm around his shoulder. I don't know whether to call Neil my friend or not. He's fun to annoy, but I'm pretty sure he hates me.

"Yes, yes I did unfortunately." He grumbled.

"Have you met the new farmer yet?"

"Actually, I have. On monday's through friday's from 11-12, I'm helping her learn how to be a farmer. As you saw, she isn't the best farmer." Neil said.

"Thats gotta be a heavy workload, considering her farming skills. Do you want me to help? I'll do Tuesdays and Thursdays." I said. I don't know exactly why I said that. I already know I can't stand Kathryn, but that hopeless farm bothers me even more.

"Well, sure."

Then, we shook on it. It took me 3 full seconds to remember that today was today. And 5 full seconds to kick myself.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed. I really appreciate it. This is my first fanfiction, so please give criticism. I won't get mad, I'll be thankful. Also, there will be more jokes in this chapter. Or at least I'll try. Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harvest Moon games, characters, or whatever the heck else that they make. Sorry about all the typos in the first chapter. I'll try to make this one better. And, Kathryn sorry no farmville.**

Allen's POV

I walked to Kathryn's house, kicking the dirt pavement in frustration. How the heck did I forget today was tuesday? Why the heck does it have to be today? Wow, this pavement sucks. Is Dunhill so freaking cheap that he can't replace Dirt pavement with stone? It isn't even really pavement, more like a path. I was halfway to Kathryn's house when I realised I didn't know how to take care of a freaking farm.

Shoot.

How the heck am I going to teach someone how to take care of a farm if I don't know how to take care of one?

Kathryn's POV

I fell out of bed, creating a bump on the right side of my forehead.

"Owwiee!" I screamed, half out of pain, half out of pleasure. Mostly out of pleasure, after all, I am a masochist. Then, I looked at the clock. The numbers read 10:30.

"HOLY MOTHERFUCKING SHIT WHORE-ASS FUCK! IT's 10 FUCKING 30! WHY THE FUCK DID I SLEEP IN AFTER THAT STUPIDASS HAIRSTYLIST CAME IN! SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!" I was very proud of my stream of curses. It suited the situation. I totally forgot that dumbass animal dealer was coming over today. I had thirty minutes to get ready. That means um...5 to decide what to wear, 5 to actually put it on, er 45 to take a shower, 30 to do my hair, 2 minutes to brush my teeth. Shit! I'm screwed! I have to take at least an hour and 27 minutes to get ready!

"Do you need help?" A seductive voice said behind me. Is there a hot guy in my house? I turned around hopefully only to find that stupidass hairy stylist.

"No! I don't need your dumbass help! Why are you even in here, pervert?"

"That is no way to talk to your superiors."

"You're not my fucking superior! Get lost."

"Oh yeah? How old are you?"

I seethed. For now the redhead would actually get what's coming for him.

"I'm 25, bitch." The redhead (Who's name I forgot,) actually looked surprised for a moment.

"I'm 25, too." Now it was my turn to be surprised. He didn't look 25, in fact he looked younger. Maybe 18, 19, 20 at the most. He's aging quite well.

"Oh yeah? What day?"

"March 16, 1991! Beat that!"

"Fine, you got me." I sighed in defeat. "I was born October 25, 1991."

"See! I am your superior! So you have to talk to me with respect, and do everything I say." The redhead said, pushing his glasses up on the bridge of his nose. I've always wanted to do that, I've seen it on anime all the time. I ignored what he was saying, and took the blue glasses off of his face. Then I put them on.

"Hi my name is, uh Stupidass stylist! No seriously I forgot your name. What was it is again?" The redhead actually looked at me. Like, scrutinized me. "What?" I asked.

"You actually look nice with those on. My name is Allen, by the way. But alas, I need glasses to see." He said, dramatically. I stared at him for a moment. Did this arrogant asshole actually _complement_ me? Suddenly, he snapped his fingers.

"Did Yuri come back?"

"Well, yeah but-" He cut me off from saying the rest of my sentence. _Well, yeah but no one wants to mess with her._ He dragged me out of my house, into the shabby farm I had barely touched since I've been here.

"Today, missy, we are going on a shopping trip!" Oh, no. This was not good.

"Allen, someone is supposed to come over today! I can't leave." Little did he know, Neil will punish me if I'm not on time. The punishments are things you never want to look back on. I shuddered. Allen smiled sheepishly at me.

"Actually, I talked to Neil this morning. He said I can teach you about farming on Tuesdays and Thursdays. The only thing is...I don't really know anything about farming myself. So today, you get a freebie. It won't happen again." I started to laugh. This guy really was an idiot.

"You think we actually talk about farming? Well, the first couple of times we did. But then, I introduced him to the wonders that is animu. Now we drink mountain dew, eat doritos, and talk about anime and video games. If I'm ever late, he- he makes me watch Sword Art Online. All of it. In one sitting." I shuddered during that last sentence. I don't want to relive that experience.

"That doesn't sound like Neil….I don't remember him ever being an otaku. Hey, I watched SAO, back when I was 17 and I liked it. It's the only anime I've ever watched, but-" I cut him off.

"WE NEED TO SHOW YOU THE MAGIC THAT IS GOOD ANIME NOW! I DON'T CONSIDER THAT CANCER TO BE ANIME!" I yelled, tackling the hair stylist to the ground.

"Sure, sure, everyone has their opinions. I'll watch something Thursday, if, and only IF you let me pick you out some clothing today. Your fashion choice is suffocating me."

"DEAL!" I exclaimed. Oh, if only he knew what he would watch Thursday….hehehehehehhe. Oh crap, I forgot I'm still in my pajamas!

Allen's POV

After Kathryn got ready, we set off to Yuri's shop. If I remember her correctly, Yuri was the top tailor, a few years younger than me. She left sometime after I did to go to Fashion School. We got along well enough, even if she was hopelessly anti-social. When we arrived to the tailor's shop, I was a bit surprised to see Emma behind the counter.

"Hey Emma, long time no see. Why are you here instead of Yuri?" I asked. Kathryn and Emma met each other's eyes in a way that said _He doesn't know the secret._ I wonder what happened?

"Oh, hey darlin' Allen. Um...since she got back, I have been running the counter while she sews the clothes." Emma said, looking ashamed.

"But why?" I asked confused. There was something they weren't telling me, and I needed to know. Some call it nosy, I call it concern.

"If you won't tell him, I will." A deep voice said, coming from the back room. Then, Yuri appeared and I gaped. She was Yuri, but she wasn't...exactly.

"Yuri...you're fat." I said, forgetting my manners. Some call it blunt, I call it truthful.

"And you're rude." She snapped at me. That was odd, usually when Yuri got insulted she'd take it with a shrug.

"Touche."

"Anyway, I'll tell you the story. After you left, I went through a _faze._ Basically, I turned edgy. My stupid mother said I needed 'behavioral correction' whatever that means. So she shipped me away to a boarding school in England. There I-" She was cut off by her mother.

"There she got pampered. Too pampered. And she got….she got fat! My sweet little Yuri got fat! In addition to that, she got even more disrespectful! I pulled her out as soon as I saw her again." Sobbed Emma. I put my arm around her.

"Shhhhh, it's alright. It's alright." I comforted.

Yuri's POV

When Allen was hugging my stupid mother, I saw her sneer. I know her plan. It's a bit, no VERY gross in my opinion. She loves Allen. No, she Lusts Allen. She cried for days when he left, and I had to deal with every single second of it. Naturally, I got a little upset with my mom. She sent me to boarding school, and I did get...overweight. But, the reason I got pulled out of boarding school wasn't her. I infected the entire school with herpes, for fun. It was disgusting, more disgusting than I thought, so I ran away. For some reason, my stupid mother thought I got expelled from the school. The headmasters never clarified, because of course they had herpes. After hearing my mother's sob story, Allen and the new girl bought a few clothes and left.

"That went very well, Yuri. Never tell him the real story. Now, I want you to get close to Allen and tell him all the wonderful things about me. Go on, fetch your mother some flowers." She waved me off. I left without a word. One day, I will get revenge. Revenge for all the things she made me do. I will.

One day.

_ **Sorry this was so short. And, any ideas for what Anime Kathryn should show Allen when he watches it? I have an idea, but let me know what you guys think.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry this is a bit late. Actually, a LOT late. 1 month in fact...he he. I was feeling lazy :P. And, I have decided on something. This chapter is pretty short. Every thursday (in the story not in real life) the entire chapter will just be Allen reacting to the first 7 episodes of an anime. This chapter will actually be Wednesday, so it won't start until chapter 5. What do you guys think of this idea? What should Kathryn (Rio/Rachel) show Allen?**

Kathryn's POV

I fell of the bed with a loud thump. I looked at the clock. The numbers read 6:25. I guess today I'm actually responsible.

For once.

I grabbed my brand new Iphone 7+ and phoned my best friend Sydni from the old days. After the second ring, she picked up.

"Hey, Kathryn." She said, already exhausted from talking to me.

"Wow, Sydner. Where you sitting by your phone waiting for me to call you?"

"You know I wasn't."

"You know you love me."

"Shut up. Has anything happened in Shitty Valley since the last time you called me?"

"Actually, yeah. A totally hot guy moved here."

"WHAT THE HECK?! On a scale from 1-10?" Sydner was excited now. Finally, in our 25 years of life she's always been the cynical nonchalant one.

"10/10! But don't try and get with him, because he's one of the most annoying, narcissistic, mother fuckers I've ever me in my life. Another downside is, he's a ginger yet NOT a ginger so I can't Insult him about it."

"So other than the appearance, he's like you then?"

"...well fuck you too."

"By the way, I was thinking on coming to visit you soon. When's a good time?"

"Hell yeah! Come today, Sydner!"

"See you in a bit."

"Later!"

I pressed the red button that signified to hang up, and jumped up and down. Sydni is coming! Sydni is coming!

…

It was 8:30 when I finally finished getting ready, so I decided that I actually TRY and take care of my farm.

Mind boggling, I know.

But then I got to my first crop, a pitiful little yam, and said "Fuck it!" then I walked back into my house to wait for Sydni or Neil to come, whoever comes first. In the meantime, I was re-playing Fire Emblem Fates: Conquest, trying to get all the best units and stats in my second file, and failing at chapter ten.

"Why the fuck is Jakob not level 13 yet?! Screw you, Jakob!" I yelled, forgetting that I can't talk to characters inside video games. My mom once asked a _professional doctor_ if I had a mental disorder because I kept doing it near her.

That was NOT a fun Saturday.

Anyway, as I finally beat chapter 10 (no thanks to Jakob, though. SCREW YOU JAKOB!) My new Iphone 7+ that costs $649 plus tax and has 32G plus unlimited talk _and_ text rang with Neil's ring tone. Screw you too, Neil. I was hoping Sydner would arrive first. I reached over my nightstand to get my new Iphone 7+-you know what, I'ma stop bragging. I reached over to get my phone and pressed the green button that says talk.

"Konnichiwa desu!" I yelled, trying to get him to cringe. I'm not an actual weeaboo.

That would be horrible.

"Whatever. Weeaboo. I called to ask you about something. Today, we can't **talk about farming,** because-" I cut him off.

"Why are you even trying to pretend?"

"Fine. Today, we can't **go MLG pro,** because I have to do something. Good day."

"You realise your ringtone is the Boku no Pico opening, right?"

He hung up the phone. Or rather, he hung up his brick shitty Iphone 4. He is soooooo jealous of my new Iphone 7+ with 32G and unlimited talk and text that cost me $649 plus tax. Anyway, after he hung up, I heard a knock on the door interrupting me from playing Fire Emblem. I walked across the light brown floor boards, and opened the door. There, stood Sydni, my best friend.

"Sydner!" I exclaimed, throwing my arms up in the air. I would have hugged her, except I don't do hugs and neither does she.

"Kathryn." She said, with fake enthusiasm.

"Why so cynical?"

"Have you even met me?" Sydner was the most cynical person I know, she was even more cynical than Neil. Except, unlike Neil, she wasn't an emo asshole, instead she was actually sarcastic and funny!

"No, no I haven't" I said, answering her question. Sydni sighed, and had the look on her face that said, _why do you even try to joke around._

"Ha ha. Now," her eyes lit up in excitement. "where is this _hot guy_ you were talking about?" Sydner is crazy for boys. I don't think she even cares what the fuck their personality is like, if they're hot, she'll go for it. If they're not hot, she won't even look at them romantically. We both had a lot of guy friends throughout middle and high school, but she didn't even care that three guys, that's right, three of those guys confessed their love to her. She rejected them.

"Don't you remember what I said? He's a total narcissist who managed to insult _me._ He managed to insult _me!_ He's cocky, arrogant, and overall a bad person. You seriously still want to meet him after that?"

"Everything you just described describes you. And look where we are now. He probably isn't that bad of a person, you just don't know him. Do you?"

I was silent.

"That's what I thought. Anyway, before we do that, did you have anything you wanted to do today? I can stay for a week, I already checked with my boss." Now it was my turn for my eyes to light up. Sydni was quite possibly one of the only people who understood me, despite all my faults. She is my best friend. Having her stay for a week was amazing and unimaginable.

"Thanks!" I yelled. "I don't really have anything to do...Wanna go on a vacation for the day?" Sydni thought that over. After a while, she finally answered.

"On one condition. Invite the hot guy." I scowled. Whatever we did, Allen would still have to meet Sydni. I guess there was no way around it.

"Fine."


End file.
